Finding Your Village: Sometimes, You Just Have to Send the Text
I’m part of a few local mom groups, some with 10K+ members, and lately I’ve been noticing a recurring kind of post:
“Looking for mom friends.”
“New to the area and hoping to meet some moms.”
“Anyone want to get together with our kids?”
And trust me—I’ve been there.
There have been seasons of motherhood when I’ve looked around and thought,
“How is everyone navigating this stage of life?”
I have friends. I’ve always had friends. But having friends and having mom friends can be two very different things.
Especially after having kids.
The surprisingly complicated Venn diagram of finding mom friends
There’s a Venn diagram that I’ve seen floating around that explains this so well.
You’re looking for someone who:
you naturally click with
＋ has kids around the same age as yours
＋ lives close enough to actually see each other
＋ and, ideally, your kids click, too. 😂
And somehow, the overlap can feel very small.
You might meet someone you absolutely click with—but their kids are 8 years older.
You might meet another mom whose child is the exact same age—but you just don't have much in common.
Or maybe you find someone you really like, but they live 45 minutes away and getting together requires the kind of planning that takes three weeks.
And even if you had a full, wonderful circle of friends before becoming a mom, finding people who fit into this particular season of life is its own art.
I remember being in that stage myself, especially here in Northern Virginia, where there can be so much movement and turnover. At one point, admitting “I don't really have mom friends” felt like admitting I had somehow failed.
Which sounds silly now.
Because the truth was simply that my friends were in different seasons of life.
And maybe yours are, too.
So how do we build our village?
This is actually one of the reasons I love seeing what happens at SensePlay Studio.
One of the things that makes my heart skip a beat is seeing friendships develop between families who first met at the studio.
A mom who met another mom in class and then they started doing playdates outside of class.
Families who coordinate their schedules so they can come to class together.
Parents who pick up a conversation from the week before, “How did that thing you were telling me about go?”
People who recognize each other, sit together, make plans, exchange numbers, and slowly become part of each other's lives.
That's the kind of community I hoped we could create at SensePlay.
Not just a place for little ones to explore and play, but a place where parents can find people who are in a similar season, too.
And watching those little friendships grow has reminded me of something: Community doesn't always happen because you find your people. Sometimes, you have to take the first little step toward them.
Which brings me to these five texts.
5 texts I'd send if I wanted to build my village
1. Make it specific.
Instead of:
“Hey! Want to grab coffee sometime?”
Try:
“Hey! Want to grab coffee at Common Culture on Thursday afternoon?”
A place.
A day.
A general time.
Make it easy to say yes.
2. “Come with me.”
You don't have to plan a whole playdate.
Try:
“Hey! I’m taking my little one to SensePlay on Friday at 9:30. Want to join us?”
Sometimes community starts with:
“Come with me.”
3. Keep it simple.
No elaborate plans.
No reservations.
No pressure.
Just fresh air, conversation, and little ones running around.
“Hey! I’m planning to walk around the park Thursday afternoon. Want to join?”
Simple moments make strong communities.
4. “I saw this and thought of you.”
Maybe it's a book.
An activity for the kids.
A reels.
A song.
A coffee shop you've been meaning to try.
You don't always need an invitation.
Sometimes community is simply saying: “I remembered you.”
5. Follow up.
“Hey! I was thinking about what you said the other day. How did that thing go?”
This might be one of the most powerful texts you can send.
Because it says:
I listened.
I remembered.
I care.
Community isn't just about inviting people in.
It's about noticing them.
So… send the text.
If you've ever felt like you were the only one trying to figure out this season of motherhood, I promise you're probably not.
There are so many other moms wondering the same thing.
And maybe the person you're hoping to find is also wondering where you are.
You don't have to build your entire village overnight.
Start with one text.
One coffee.
One walk.
One class.
One conversation.
And maybe, little by little, those small moments become the village you were looking for all along.
Send the text. 🤍